I'm getting Help and Healing!!!

So, my second volunteer job is working with Ellel Ministries. I help walk people through spiritual, emotional and sometimes physical wholeness and healing. This comes through the way of forgiving, letting go, and asking God to come heal what people cannot.

I listen to story after story of incredible hurt, brokenness, abandonment and abuse and silently think, "these people are looking to me to somehow make all this right. I have no idea what to do." And then, I pray, I ask God to show up. As I look back, there were plenty of awkward times, plenty of times when I probably screwed things up - said absolutely the wrong thing at the wrong time and simply just looked like an idiot. But, fascinatingly (is that a word?) there were more times that I look back and God showed up, again and again and again. He would take the broken, scared, and hurt souls and would lead them to that place of incredible healing at the cross. It actually makes me emotional just thinking of how He's been so faithful and that I've been privileged to witness such redemption!

All of this to say, it's my turn tomorrow. Tomorrow (Wednesday, March 31) I will go and sit before the team that I minister side by side with and will pour out my heart and my guts and then I will look at them expectantly as to where in the world we're supposed to go. I have to say, I AM SO READY!!!

In this season, I feel like more than ever I've come face to face with my shortcomings. My weaknesses, my shame, my fears...And they are so heavy, so ugly and I'm tired of dragging them behind me. They stink, they're old and they weigh a ton. I'm ready to take them to the cross. I'm totally expectant of the Lord to show up, because that's what He does.

I've ministered to pastors, worship leaders, CEO's of big corporations - and the leaders all say the same thing, "I've never had a safe place to tell anyone this and get help." The fear that if anyone knew, they would lose everything. As a leader myself, I've decided, I want Jesus more.

If you think about it, pray for me tomorrow. Pray that my heart will be so tender and so sensitive to the Lord. I want to hold nothing back. If He doesn't have my whole heart - I will never be able to live a life worthy of His name.